Authors |
Joshua Kurtz, adept writer,
actor and psychophysicist, started his life as a failure. He was bad at
sports, bad at writing, bad at making friends, bad at eating, bad at-
well, everything. At the age of nine, while walking down the street alone
and friendless, Kurtz discovered a strange device he would later discover
to be an improbability generator. He set the device to a high power level,
and as such, a very unlikely thing happened. The device vanished, and
Joshua Kurtz was granted dashing good looks, creativity, people skills,
intelligence, and superpowers.
Josh took to crime fighting, and before long, was a world renowned icon.
Leaping rooftops and fighting crime, Kurtz singlehandedly eliminated almost
ninety five percent of crime in the world. When the life of a superhero
bored him, he used his superpowers to build himself a new world; a world
where crime was rampant and troubles were many. He was twelve years old
at the time, and spent the next two years of his life completely eradicating
the many millions of evil doers on his own planet. He then returned to
his home world and settled down with a day job.
A day job of slaying dragons. The improbability drive got loose, and when
a mad scientist discovered it, he began to use it to create evil minions
for himself. And so, Kurtz’s nemesis was born. The mighty hero did
battle with his nemesis and his minions for a full year without rest.
When the battle had ended, Kurtz was victorious, but at a high price.
The world was completely uninhabitable, and in a last feat of heroism,
Kurtz sacrificed his superpowers in order to safely transport the human
race to the planet he had early created and rid of crime; Earth.
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Madison Hughes, talented artist, writer and hydrokinetic,
was born and raised in a Craxlon death camp in dimension a few awkward
pauses to the left of ours. At the age of six months, she ate the brain
of one of her alien captors, and gained all of the knowledge of the entire
race, including how to fight without weapons, design complex computer
programs, shoot lasers from her eyes, and make a damn good cup of coffee.
Using this knowledge, she quickly turned the death camp inside out by
fighting through an army of aliens and overloading the dark matter fusion
generator.
After escaping to earth on an extra dimensional spaceship, a trip that
would take the next three and a half years of her life, she was shot by
an overzealous hunter, and while under the influence of blood loss and
rage, she designed the first prototype of her time machine. She went back
in time, punched the hunter in the stomach for being so dumb, went to
meet her future self, and together the two had to fight their way through
a space-time paradox that nearly caused the destruction of the universe.
Due to unexplainable time circumstances, Madison skipped the next several
years of her life, and decided to go undercover living in a library, where
she pretended to be a ghost that haunted the walls, but actually used
the computers to hack into the government mainframe and find out everything
she could ever need to know about Earth’s society and more. With
this knowledge, she conquered the world, decided that the leadership wasn’t
very enjoyable, went back in time, and now lives her life in the leisure
of a vacation dimension four temporal pockets northwest of ours, where
she writes her ongoing “fictional” novel about a universe
made entirely of cheese.